Make Yourself Some Damn Pasta: A Recipe

Written by: Nicole Carter

Hey Friends. We are really in the thick of this quarter, aren’t we? How are you holding up? 

You might think you don’t have time or money to cook yourself dinner, but I’d like to offer you an affordable, easy dish that will fill you up and give you the energy to kick that research assignment’s ass! This simple red sauce is based on Marcella Hazan’s tomato sauce and is shockingly flavorful for how little goes into it! Depending on the quality of ingredients you decide to buy the cost of this dish is around $5-$8 and you should get 4-5 servings. 

*Vegetarian- Could be modified to be gluten free and vegan*


-2 (28oz) cans of whole peeled tomatoes (I like to get one can of fire roasted tomatoes for some razzle dazzle) 

-2 onions- peeled and chopped in half 

-1 stick of butter 

-Generous amounts of salt and pepper

This is seriously the easiest dish you will ever make. 

  1. Dump cans of tomatoes and their juices into a big ol pot. Place halved onions into tomatoes and put the butter right in the middle. 
  2. Get a fist full of salt (like 2 tablespoons) and sprinkle over the tomato, onion, butter mixture. 
  3. Turn heat to medium low and let cook for 45 minutes- stirring and pressing down on the tomatoes. 


  1. After 45 minutes, remove those onion chunks. (I usually sneak a little bite of onion) 
  2. Taste that sauce, sweet child. Jazz it up with more salt and pepper. 

NOW. Time to cook those noodles.

  1. Get a pot and fill with water. Sprinkle a fistful of salt into the water. (TRULY a fistful this time). You want to taste that water and be repulsed by it. It should taste like your tears when you get ghosted for the 8th time this month. 
  2. Bring the saltwater to a boil and dump in your noodles of choice. 
  3. If you are using fresh pasta, it should only take 2-3 minutes to cook. If you are using dry pasta it will probably take closer to 10 minutes.
  4. Strain your pasta and divide between bowls. 

Liberally apply pasta sauce and enormous amounts of parmesan cheese. 

There you have it, folks! An easy, practical dish that can elevate your Monday night and hopefully remind you to take time to nurture yourself. 

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